Fresh herbs / Herb garden
Lost Memories
Cravings : Pizza
My car got broken into yesterday. The thief broke down my back window pane, during sunday morning worship and grabbed some stuff from my car. I lost a whole bunch of cd's, my smart tag, small change and my camera. I lost three presents, 2 birthday presents and a christmas present, which was pretty sad. But for some reason the thing that really got to me was the loss of my camera. I didn't realized it at first, then when I remembered it really gutted me. Why? Because I just had my YF group outing the day before and had taken lots of pictures, including a couple 1-on-1 pics. Well I guess it is just my fate ehh..not to have many pictures. I guess most people would find me strange, because the loss of the other stuff didn't affect me all that much, these picture thing really does. It's like losing precious memories you know..*sigh*
So now, because I had been jiwanging most of last week, I was already feeling a bit down. Then a friend of mine really irritated me(And no Charles, it is not who you are thinking). The friend was feeling down, so I went and layan, but my friend still want to tarik harga and brush me off. Now usually, I would be able to handle that, but due to my jiwang mood I was pretty annoyed by my friend's actions and I was like whateva! You expect me to layan you and then still treat me like that? Come on! You think I don't have feelings too? Then on Sunday my car got broken in to, then I figured out my pictures were missing. So my mood wasn't all that good. I was getting irritated fast. And I guess I vented it abit on some of my friends, who didn't deserve it. Sort of tunjuk muka, as they say. I'd like to say sorry to you two. Really sorry yeah? You are two of my good friends and I shouldn't have done that.
That being said it actually takes alot for me to lose my temper. In fact I believe only maybe 2 people in church have seen me lose my temper, and that is because they attend the same school as me (That reminds me...sorry 'bout that Charles, though it was a long time ago, I don't think I ever apologized). Being happy, smiling and just generally being easy going was something I used to pride myself on. Unfortunately over the past couple of years I find I am irritatable and less tolerant then I used to be..maybe I'm under alot of stress...more likely I just need a girlfriend...hahahaha
Which actually brings me to another thing....I'm feeling lonely again. It is not that I don't have friends whom I can hang out and really fellowship with but I'm just in that "I want someone to hold" mood again. I'm sure you people out there understand. All the jiwang and emo songs I listening to doesn't help either..haha. One of my biggest fears is I guess that I will be single for life. I have sort of commited it to GOD, and I can live with being single, but I really hope that's not HIS plan for me...hahaha. I think I shared in a previous entry how I would love to have a gf I could trust completely and confide in. I think I should clarify that. I actually would just love someone I can be completely honest with and really trust, but that person has to do the same with me. I can only put as much trust in someone as they put in me I guess. You know, someone who is willing to work through the hurt and pain such a close relationship will definately experience instead of just hiding, withdrawing and being non-confrontational. Hopefully there is someone out there willing to be as vulnerable with me as I will be with them.
My car got broken into yesterday. The thief broke down my back window pane, during sunday morning worship and grabbed some stuff from my car. I lost a whole bunch of cd's, my smart tag, small change and my camera. I lost three presents, 2 birthday presents and a christmas present, which was pretty sad. But for some reason the thing that really got to me was the loss of my camera. I didn't realized it at first, then when I remembered it really gutted me. Why? Because I just had my YF group outing the day before and had taken lots of pictures, including a couple 1-on-1 pics. Well I guess it is just my fate ehh..not to have many pictures. I guess most people would find me strange, because the loss of the other stuff didn't affect me all that much, these picture thing really does. It's like losing precious memories you know..*sigh*
So now, because I had been jiwanging most of last week, I was already feeling a bit down. Then a friend of mine really irritated me(And no Charles, it is not who you are thinking). The friend was feeling down, so I went and layan, but my friend still want to tarik harga and brush me off. Now usually, I would be able to handle that, but due to my jiwang mood I was pretty annoyed by my friend's actions and I was like whateva! You expect me to layan you and then still treat me like that? Come on! You think I don't have feelings too? Then on Sunday my car got broken in to, then I figured out my pictures were missing. So my mood wasn't all that good. I was getting irritated fast. And I guess I vented it abit on some of my friends, who didn't deserve it. Sort of tunjuk muka, as they say. I'd like to say sorry to you two. Really sorry yeah? You are two of my good friends and I shouldn't have done that.
That being said it actually takes alot for me to lose my temper. In fact I believe only maybe 2 people in church have seen me lose my temper, and that is because they attend the same school as me (That reminds me...sorry 'bout that Charles, though it was a long time ago, I don't think I ever apologized). Being happy, smiling and just generally being easy going was something I used to pride myself on. Unfortunately over the past couple of years I find I am irritatable and less tolerant then I used to be..maybe I'm under alot of stress...more likely I just need a girlfriend...hahahaha
Which actually brings me to another thing....I'm feeling lonely again. It is not that I don't have friends whom I can hang out and really fellowship with but I'm just in that "I want someone to hold" mood again. I'm sure you people out there understand. All the jiwang and emo songs I listening to doesn't help either..haha. One of my biggest fears is I guess that I will be single for life. I have sort of commited it to GOD, and I can live with being single, but I really hope that's not HIS plan for me...hahaha. I think I shared in a previous entry how I would love to have a gf I could trust completely and confide in. I think I should clarify that. I actually would just love someone I can be completely honest with and really trust, but that person has to do the same with me. I can only put as much trust in someone as they put in me I guess. You know, someone who is willing to work through the hurt and pain such a close relationship will definately experience instead of just hiding, withdrawing and being non-confrontational. Hopefully there is someone out there willing to be as vulnerable with me as I will be with them.
posted by Su | 11:42 am
3 Comments:
1. Really? I'm *wrong*?? But I'm NEVER wrong! Darn. Signs of old age.
2. Are we thinking about the same incident here? Cos it was a darn long time ago... Now I feel really old. Shucks.
Posted by charles
1. Yes
2. Yes.
Posted by Su
y so canggih wan this comment space(scratch head) hey i know what you mean abt wanting to be vulnerable etc with someone... wa, read you para on that i almost can cry :) no joke. hang in there, sorry to hear abt the 'break in' (hugs)
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