Blog openess

Craving : Homemade pizza (Will try to do this over the weekend)

Recently I found out that my sister was closing her blog. She cited that she was entering a new phase of her life that she doesn't feel like blogging. One that requires more privacy. That's sort of how I feel about my blog these days. There are times when I really want to blog something but I hold back, because I just know the people I write about will read it. Perhaps this is due partially to the fact that I decided to use my real name in blogging. Although, I do not think it would make much differance, as my friends would still know it was my blog. This is not to say I don't enjoy writing entries like this or the KFC sqared one, but there are times when I just lay it all out, and I really find that I can't because it will change things. Because the people who read will get the wrong impression. Sometimes all I want to do is vent on a blog and get stuff off my chest and not have people come up and ask me about it after. And that is something I can't do on this blog. Perhaps one day, if I feel like that again, I may start another blog hidden and private where I can just write what ever I want and not be judged.

Lounging in the office...

Craving : Mushroom Rice

It's a real boring day for me. I should have been at the customer's office but becasue of some software installation I was stuck in the office. It works fine on desktops but seems to have issues with laptops. One entire day trying to install the stupid thing to no avail. This is my last ditch attempt at installing. Over two hourse of downloading and it is only 74%. I can tell you that is really sad. I'm also the only one in the whole office. Really boring I tell you. Waiting for my co-workers to return too. They are caught in a jam somewhere in KL. Hope they will be back soon. I want to have a decent dinner with my parents tonight after a week of running around. So sien...

On to other things. I am now torn between joining the YA BSF and the men's BSF next study year. The YA ofcourse has its obvious appeals, but will only start in November (if it starts at all). The men's group on the other hand starts in August. I don't want to miss the stuff in August and the YA BSF maybe on wednesday which would be a nono for me, since it clashes with the church bible study and prayer meeting. So it looks like I stay with the men. Have messaged my DL but no reply on my decision to switch back. I hope he got it.

By His strength

Craving : Raspberry Ice Tea

It is the end of a long day at work right now and still I am in the office. I'm taking a break as I wait for some of my collegues to get some testing done before I resume working on the program again. I have to say I am bushed. I am all tired out, drained both mentally and physically, but somehow I am still trudging on. Have you ever felt so tired that you just didn't want to do anything at all, but at the same time there was just so much you have to do? Maybe you have felt like you really don't have the strength to cross all the rocky mountains that life throws at you. Well that's how I feel right now. Drained. Yet it is at this time that I really rely on God's strength and His grace. I know that He is there looking down on me from His throne in heaven and holding me up with His hand, guiding me on. I know sometimes it is just so hard to seem optimistic, especially when things look so bad, but this is the time that God reveals Himself, because it is the time when I have acknowledge that I am not strong enough and only Christ can get me through. Yet isn't it sad that it is only during this time when I feel closest to Him? Why is it like this? Why? Why can't I be the closest to Him during times of Joy? The answer, because of my own selfish self. Thank God for His unconditional love.

In His hands...

Craving : A french loaf/Sour dough sub with smoked salmon

Committing things to God. That's something we hear often but very seldom do; or at least that is the case for me. This morning barely one and a half hours ago I woke up stressed and tired, with so much on my mind. So many things I was worried about at wor, and as I drove to work I prayed. When I got to work I prayed. It was the same prayer "God I commit all my worries, fears and troubles into your hands." And then I went about my work. I know all of you must be expecting that I am about to say, that everything is nice and peachy now and the truth is you would be half right. I'm in a very thankful and happy mood, because He fixed one of the biggest problems I had. There are more, and He may very well bless me with His grace and clear them, but even if He doesn't he already has done more then enough. Thank you Father. You truly are a loving a gracious Father. Remember He always hears and answers your prayers, just in His own time.

Busy bee

Craving : Fish porridge

Ok so I've been really really busy this couple of days. In fact it looks like I'll be busy for the next couple of weeks or so. And to top it off I haven't had the mood to blog much, so most likely you'll be seeing less blogs up here over the next few weeks. Can't really blog much right now cause I've got lots to do, but thank God I haven't had to skip any bible studies or church meetings yet. I can still even chat on the phone and hang out. Hopefully this will be about as busy as I will get. Oh and just incase some of you don't know yet.....CHELSEA are the CHAMPIONS!

KFC²

Craving : None...very full...fresh from William's

So you must be intrigued by my strange title. What could it mean? Well actually KFCKFC are the new initials for one of my friends. The man formerly know as ckc@Cheah Kok Choong will not hence forth be known as Kenny Fernando Cheah Kok Fei Choong. He is also known as the "Kitten Friendly Cheah" because apparently there are others out there with the same surname which abuse kittens by catching their tongues and such...such terrible people. But KFC is different. He is 2 in one! He is the elusive Original Recipie and Curry Cruch combination dinner plate not found at KFCs else where. Such amazing things right? Hehehehe....oh well just some really lame stuff I wanted to post up. Let's hope the name Kenny Fernando Cheah Kok Fei Choong sitcks!

Jumblelaya thoughts

Cravings : Lagsana (With cheese sauce!)

I really must find a way to come up with better titles for my blog entries. My titles are just getting lamer and lamer..and so boring too..oh well. I'm a science student don't blame me for my lack of creativity.

Now as my title says (Or at least tries to carry across) is that I have a jumble of thoughts up in my minds right now. So many things I want to blog, and each so dramatically different from each other. Perhaps this is why people blog everyday, so they don't end up with a thesis worth of stuff to write. Ok let me randomly determine the first thread of thought I'm going to follow...

*drum roll as I pull out a one from my head*

Ok looks like it's gonna be on prayer. Looks like I'm going to be starting on a religious note again. Seems that there is a lot of bumps in my spiritual walk recently. The latest happened over the long weekend. I have been talking with a close friend on some troubles that friend was going through and we had many long talks and discussions on the matter. Thank God things have seemed to be resolving itself. However something that hit me just this Sunday was that through out all the talks we had, I never once offered to pray together with that friend. Honestly it didn't even occur to me until I saw someone else praying with my friend. I was hit hard. And the sight really hit home. It just showed me that I had been relying too much on my own worldly wisdom in trying to understand my friend and helping out. I did not rely on God's strength enough I guess. Sure I prayed in my own time, but offering to pray together was something that just didn't cross my mind. Maybe it reflects on how young I still am in the faith. Compounding all this was yesterday's BSF message where we talked alot on submission. And I was really made to reflect on myself. I have to say I really was ashamed at what I saw. Thank God for the wake up call...hopefully by His grace I'll be able to right this part of my life with Him and truly learn to rely on Him more.

Wow..it feels good to get that off my chest. Now on to other things. I went back to Games Cricle the other night. Games Cricle is a place for miniature fans (aka Warhammer 40k, Warhammer Fantasy, Bloodbowl, etc). That's right this is another one of my odd hobbies, painting and collecting miniatures. Haven't been doing it for awhile though, been slacking...hehehee..but it was fun to meet up with the guys again and to watch the battles go down. Got really drawn into a new army list for Warhammer Fantasy too. Had to force myself to be disiplined and to finish my Dark Elven army first before I start collecting another army. Bought some Dark Riders and spent a cool RM285 on them. Still it was worth it I felt...but then I got home and remembered that I had just removed my tabel from my room..so now I have no where to paint! :(