Silence...can you hear it?

Craving: Steamed Fish with Minced Ginger and Garlic

Been reflecting alot lately, on lots of things and have been praying quite abit myself. We are just finishing up on the book of Ruth in BSF(Bible Study Foundation) and two thoughts have been continuously been with me for most of this series. Firstly is on trusting God. I have heard talks on trusting God so many times and been told it so often that it isn't even funny. I mean that is supposed to be our comfort as Christians in our times of trouble right? That we are to trust in God that he will see us through it. Now I don't know about the other Christians out there, but I sometimes find this a really tough part of my faith. Like people always say, the heart is willing but the flesh is weak. Which is why I was struck by the words of the BSF speaker when he spoke on this issue. He said..."The question is not if you can trust God, but if God can trust you to trust God." This simple statement, really made me think, becasue it completely changes the emphasis. It told me a few things. Most important of which is the fact that we can trust God. There is no 'if'. There is no question about it. It also reminded me that I had to make that decision for myself to trust in God, no matter the circumstance.

Which actually brings me to the other though that stuck with me, that when God remains silent in our time of need it is a compliment. Now this was strange to me when I first heard it. Why? Because usually when we don't seem to get a response from God we are usually told to examine ourselves first, see if we would have done anything to alienate God. Have we sinned and not repented? Or maybe we had thoughts of committing sin. Maybe we weren't sincere. In truth, it could be any of this things. Yet, we forget that God loves us and if we love Him, he will watch over us. Why is His silence a compliment? Because it shows that God knows that even if he remains silent, you will continue to trust in Him, and when He finishes the story you will truly be amazed at how He has used your life.

Then again , sometimes God is not slient at all. He is trying to speak to us, trying to guide us, but we just ain't listening. Most of the time we are so engrossed in our lives and so busy complaining about stuff, or so busy doing, or so busy having fun that we just don't hear God speaking to us. Sometimes we just don't want to hear. Which is why we have retreats and get-aways where we can spend time with God without distractions. Yet....if God really means so much to us, so much to me as I claim...why is it I can't sacrifice the time to have that "retreat" with God everyday?

Impacting people???

Craving : Deep fried pork ribs

Been doing a bit of self reflection lately and over the past couple of weeks there has been this nagging thought at the back of my mind. I have been wondering if I am actually making a differance. Am I actually impacting anyone? Is God actually impacting anyone through me? And the sad thing is I don't know. I mean...can anyone actually say God has used me to help them? Or will I just be remembered as that guy who used to be a YF teacher who was rather round and plump? Because if that is all I am...I don't think I'm serving God all that well. Sort of makes you think sometimes you know....

So many directions

Craving : Lobster Thermidor

OK so I have a whole ton of different interests, ranging from Computer Games, to books, to miniatures, to Church Ministry, to hanging out with friends, to sports, to baking and cooking, and so on and so forth. The problem is actually finding the time to engage in all these different activities and still find time to spend with family. As of now as I'm sure my family will attest, I'm not doing a very good balancing act. It is just there is so muct to do and so little time to do it. Ever wish there was more then 24 hours to a day? Or wish that sleep wasn't all that important? (Well actually if your surname is 'Yee', trying to find more time to sleep would actually be the main concern). Sometimes I feel that way too...wonder how this is all going to work out?

On to other things. It was my friend's birthday yesterday and so a few of us took her out to dinner. Sadly the boyfriend was down with measels and it was up to us, 3 helpful and kind chaps to entertain the girl on her special night. (I would also like to point out that this service is available upon request. Boyfriends can be assured that your girl will be in 'safe hands'...:P) We had a nice dinner at the Manhattan Fish market, which by the way is definately cheaper and better tasting then Nando's, inspite of popular belief. There were four of us and after much discussion (mostly consisting of remarks along the lines of "No! You only want Rach to order the Lobster because you want it!" being directed at the Cow) we decided to get the Grilled Gala Platter for two and The Fisherman's Fried platter. A couple of mushroom soups rounded off out meal. So the four of us Timun, Charlsey Mousey, Ms. Chan Wei Tse and myself just hung out and chit chat about various inconsequential stuff.

Once the meal was done we adjourned......only as far as Friday's where the Cow was admant in getting the birthday girl drunk. With no boyfriend around to protect her or chase us out of the room at the slightest hint of drunkeness the evil plan was put into action. So continued our little outing with dessert and drinks. Somewhere along the conversation, some one asked how long we had known Rach, and as we sat there and counted it turns out we had all known each other for about 10 - 15 years. Quite a thought. Not every friend you make or meet along the way are going to last this long..and I guess it was quite a nice realization for all of us, that even after all these years we were still sitting together in a little booth chatting the night away. In away..this actually helped me quite abit with some of the stuff I've been going through. All I can say is I am really grateful to have the friends I have..:)

P/S : 1. Interesting fact....you cannot created a folder or file named 'con' anywhere in windows.

2. A mouse sent me a little fun audio clip about "the special one" Jose Mourinho. Really ammusing..if you want to hear it just let me know.

Getting back on track

Craving: Red Snapper Fish and Chips

Ok..so this is another attempt to getting my blog back on track. I've been quite slack with updates lately. Guess that's got to do with myself trying to sort out some personal stuff....the other part I guess can be attributed to the increased ammount of DotA time I've had recently. Been a little stressed lately, so been using DotA to release tension....although I guess I shall adapt a CounterStrike saying from a friend of mine and modify to fit "Play DotA mm hor yi lau geh!" hahaha...but yes....that's how things are.

It has been a trying few weeks...not as bad as a month or 2 back..but personally trying...it has got nothing to do with other people, it is just something that I've had to work out myself. And all this while, God has been trying to knock some sense into me. Why i say this? Well almost every bible study or message I have heard over the past couple of weeks has got to do with either "God provides", "Rely on him", "Put behind your old self", or somewhere along those lines. And I was hearing it but not really listening. I was so defiant and trying to rely on myself, but once I was at my wits end and really got down and pray and commit to God, not only in words but in heart and actions as well, only did I begin to see the change. Once again I'm reminded of how awesome my God is.....and I actually feel sad when I think of those who don't have Him to turn to in their time of need. Really reminds me that I have to be constantly praying and evangelising to my family and friends...especially my dad. Afterall I want to see them all in heaven at the finish line.

There was a time when I lost my way,
My strength I thought was fine,
I listened not to what God had to say,
Relied only on wisdom that was mine.

But He's an awesome God,
And His wondrous love knows no bounds
With patience he waited, my Lord,
Till his arms once again I found.